Things the residents of 133 have learned in college…. chapter 1.

1. The world has many a problem.

2. The ability to use the phrase “many a”.

3. Sex is fun.

4. Not everyone looks good in yoga pants.

5. There are more fish species in the Amazon River than there are in the entire Atlantic ocean.

6. Writing in all caps makes words look better. (This list is handwritten).

7. Writing in all caps makes words look stupid. (Written in all lowercase, of course).

8. Groceries are expensive.

9. Coffee is a good thing. 

10. Hangovers are the living equivalent of death. 

11. Sundresses make all women more attractive.

12. Celeste pizza sandwiches are incredible. 

13. Speaking different languages is sexy.

14. “Catorce”

15. Mexican beer is awesome.

16. Hydration is key.

17. Smoke rings are sexy.

18. Smoke rings are hard.

19. Compost does not take itself out.

20. High quality liquor equals high quality liquor.

21. Whiskey is real. 

22. Whiskey dick is real. 

23. Red ink on papers makes one feel as shit feels. 

24. Talking as a spartan talks is hilarious. 

25. Professors make the class. 

26. Citing is annoying. 

27. Engineering is hard. 

28. Not all bars are amazing. 

29. Powerpoint presentations are half-assed and boring. 

30. Group projects are a waste of energy, emotion, and time. 

31. Freezing rain freezes upon impact; sleet freezes in the air, that is the difference. 

32. When to use a semicolon. 

33. Eggs are the equivalent of sustenance.

34. Eggs are also delicious. 

35. It’s not alcoholism if there’s a deadline. 

36. Condoms suck. 

37. Free pizza is the best kind of pizza.